Solutions for conflict

Apr 27

How long have you spent refining and perfecting

your “Badass Comeback” ?

I find conflict difficult, and although at the time I stay calm and controlled, afterwards I stress. I replay the situation, try to perfect it, make it better, come up with a cool response.

It seems I’m not alone. Brené Brown understands too. In her book Dare to Lead she comes up with some great suggestions to deal with the mean comments:

“Don’t grab hurtful comments”
‘Cause we don’t just look at them objectively, we latch on.
“Don’t play with them by rehearsing your badass comeback”
Never once has this actually been useful. Ever.
“Let what’s unproductive and hurtful drop”
Imaging the comment at your feet, you may wish to visualise it as a piece of scrap paper, or an irritating creature, up to you, but you’re going to just leave it there.
“No matter how much your self-doubt wants to …snuggle with the negativity”
She understands. You still want to pick it up.

So, notice when you are snuggling with the mean comments

acknowledge this with “I see you”,

put it on the ground,

and leave it alone.

References from Brené Brown Dare to Lead Vermilion

maria sokolowska