The Most Fabulous Stories are the Ones We Tell Ourselves- How to change your story.
We tell ourselves stories every day. It’s how we interpret the world. When I take the rubbish to the bins, there are three stories I tell myself:
It’s always me who does this. I do everything. No-one helps. I don’t want to do this. I’m fed up with this.
I’m looking after the house, I’ve got this. I’m keeping it together and I’m rather awesome.
I’m carrying a sack of rubbish to the bin.
Number one is my victim, poor me, story. Number two my hero, go me, story. Number three is an observation.
They can all be part of the same small trip down the hill, and combine with isn’t the view beautiful today? The secret is to realise I’m telling them.
The next stage is to work out what’s fixed about this story and what’s flexible. Yes, I am carrying a rubbish bag. It may smell pretty gross. It may be leaking. It’s probably heavy, overfilled, and threatening to rip. It needs to go in the bin, and the only way to get it there is to carry it.
The accompanying head chatter is flexible and optional. This is the place to play and tell a different story. It can be fabulous, weird, fun, comedic, or romantic. Pick one that you like, or reject all and stay with the observations.
I’m taking the bins out to keep the house clean.
I’m taking the bins out and getting some fresh air.
I’m carrying the bins and I’m grateful for how easy this is.
I wonder how Santa feels taking the bins out?
The change is to realise they are just thoughts, and once you notice them, you feel a little less attached. A little less hero, victim or whatever other roles I had taken without realising it.
Practising on the small things, when washing up, or taking the bin out, spills out into other areas that may have more complex plots.
Being fabulous in the everyday.
